I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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