Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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