you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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