Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
