Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
