I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My bed smells like the plague
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