so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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