i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
