belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
