I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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