I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
