ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
