I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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