i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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