my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize