Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize