you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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