How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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