I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
