All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
