Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
