is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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