Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
