I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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