So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
