Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
