I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
