Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
