Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
