Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
