he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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