Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
