well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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