Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
