i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Randomize
