We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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