My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
