Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
be right there i have to get my cape
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
