Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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