so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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