I think I died a long time ago.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
