Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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