i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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