everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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