On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
