Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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