If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
