Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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