Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
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Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize