after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
