i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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