on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
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I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
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Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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