can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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