I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
