Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
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Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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